On Forgiveness, Gaslighting, Kobe Bryant etc. (January 2020) Taglish blog entry

Forgiveness is a grace from God. You cannot COMMAND people to forgive. We could lead them to prayer to eventually forgive, but like grief for the loss of someone we love, anger doesn't go away in a zap. In fact, it doesn't go away at all. The yoke is just made easy, and the burden/load is made light. When that happens, there'll be peace and joy within amid the sadness grief causes, and anger dissipates. We shouldn't force things. Let us pray together. It'll happen in God's time.

One more thing is that when we pray for healing of memories, we don't bury things in our hearts. We have to let it all out and not keep things inside. If we bury them/keep them inside, the stench would reek that you would be forced to dig deeper and deeper. Older wounds would surface, etc. (My reaction to the January 21 article:

Telling People to Forgive is Gaslighting in Disguise. by Ruth Parchment

From Google Images

I have seen the Ingrid Bergman version(1944) of Gaslight(the original movie(1940) starred British actors----the term actually originated from Patrick Hamilton's 1938 stage play), and it is very, very disturbing.

💔💔💔💔
THE BRYANTS et al

According to the news on TV and the WWW, at least the ones I've read, that the fog was thick as pea soup. Visibility was zero. Other choppers were grounded. That is so sad. It could have been prevented(and according to a man I greatly respect, it was extreme or excessive pride that...arrogance in the guise of philanthropy etc. ), but I guess it's their time already. If one or two were meant to survive, one way or another, they would have. Only God knows the time and the hour. May they rest in peace, and may the ones they left behind be comforted. #MambasLegacyLivesOn #LetsNotForgetThatThereWereNinePeopleInThatChopperCrash #RIPKobeBryant #RIPGiannaBryant #RIPJohnAltobelli #RIPKeriAltobelli #RIPAlyssaAltobelli #RIPChristinaMauser #RIPSarahChester #RIPPaytonChester

The pilot is now identified. He is Ara Zobayan. The seasoned flight instructor was a licensed instrument pilot, meaning he was trained on the safety and navigational tools needed to fly under poor weather conditions(The Daily Beast). #OnlyGodKnowsTheTimeAndTheHour #RIPAraZobayan

By the way, this is not just JUMPING THE BANDWAGON for me.  I love my mom, but I'm definitely my daddy's girl.  If you read the last part of the blog entry before this, you know I am having mixed feelings.  I know, my dad is old and all, and as much as he could, he already prepared us for the inevitable, but I am just asking for a little more time.  Well, I really believe it's only God who knows the time and the hour.





Back to forgiveness
I could only hope and pray that the people I have hurt in the past would forgive me.  Yes.  I have hurt some people too.  I am a generally lovable person, but I have my bouts of arrogance, and my temper has brought me to trouble more than once. 
People think I am like a politician, saying hi and hello to everyone, et cetera.  What only a few people know(well, nobody reads this little corner of my world much) is that I am actually more of an introvert.  I do not like attending big parties and reunions.  If and when I do, I just stay with a group, unless it's a party where I know almost everyone.
One more thing, and I pray that nobody uses this for whatever negative reason, I have close to no peripheral vision.  I have been called a snob by a LOT of people.  Me?  A snob?  The opinons of people about me really vary.
I am very grateful that there are people who love me no matter what, but my golly gulaman, there are people who are just nice to me because they have to.

Sigh.  I just remembered one of the many people I have hurt in the past.  He actually stopped writing and directing, so I promised myself not to do that anymore.
PAKIALAMERA KASI AKO sa script ng may script noong araw.  NOW, I only suggest and hope...especially kung di ko naman client yung tao.  Napapag-usapan lang.  Kung mangyari, mangyayari.  Kung di mangyayari, di mangyayari.  They have their own minds, storylines, artistic ideas.  We could complain about this and that, but we should never OWN anything we didn't write or whatever.  I am NOT talking about plagiarism here.
More than two decades ako there was this director that I greatly admired.  Di pa uso ang Internet sa Pilipinas masyado.  Sa snail mail kami madalas mag-usap.
Nung umpisa, tuwang-tuwa siya sa mga pinagsasabi ko.  Sinunod niya.  Lumabas sa studio, humanap ng location, para maging realistic yung mga scenes, tapos medyo binago niya yung kung paano magsalita yung malditang contrabida...kaso nung bandang huli...to make the long story short, he resigned and another one took over.  Hay.  I'm so guilty about this.  Super. Hindi naman yun ang intention ko.  I really admire him and his story a LOT.  Yes. Until now, I admire him and his story a LOT. (Sa Pilipinas ba ito? I won't say. Malay niyo hindi, kasi Tinagalog ko, eh. Baka ayaw kong maintindihan niya---kasi kahit i-translate niya, not exact naman yung meaning or translation---baka mas magkagulo pa.)  We are not on speaking terms.  
Did anything romantic go on?  NO.  None at all.  
Kaya nowadays, pag medyo feeling ko I am crossing the line na, I stop, and I make it clear that I could only suggest, and it's that person's story or direction, not mine.
Sana naman yung MGA kaibigan kong mga director at mga manunulat ng iba't ibang format or genre at iba't ibang mga probinsiya, siyudad, at bansa'y maintindihan na personally lang akong nagbibigay ng opinion in PRIVATE kung labis ako nag-e-enjoy sa mga obra nila.  Na bilib na bilib ako sa kanila at tuwang-tuwa sa galing at talino nila.  I usually do praises PUBLICLY or post about them on social media, most especially if it's positive.
If negative, I assure you that I'm not a BASHER na ang pakay ay manirang puri o saklawan na ang mga limitasyon ko bilang manonood at tagahanga o may masabi lang eh wala nang pakialam sa mga damdamin at talento nila.
Kahit nga di ko kilala I make it a point to not write anything if I have nothing good to say. On the otherhand,  sometimes even if I love the things I've watched, I don't write about a TV Ad, movie, TV show/series, or whatever else because I'm just overwhelmed that I couldn't describe stuff in words---or the magic has died or maybe I would just write about it when I remember something similar or if I get an inspiration or something.
If a hate a film or whatever, I won't waste my time writing about it.  If there's a thing or two I like about a super lambasted story or something, I would write about it when I feel like it.  
Oh well, this is getting to be very long, and I have other things to do.  I'm sure you do too.
Thanks for your time.