Our Life is in God's hands

Myself talking to my other self

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A couple of days ago, someone related to me was cremated, and yes, he did not die of natural causes. For the protection and privacy of the family, I won't mention his name, although it is not really a secret within the clan, and his friends.

I believe in my heart that before his final breath, he was able to make peace with God. He is loved by many, and of course, we are all saddened by his loss.


As I mentioned in a blog entry before this one, thankfully, we are no longer in Bram Stoker's time.  During the time of Bram Stoker, and even before and after that, despair was an unforgivable sin against the Holy Spirit.  The ones who committed suicide, as reminded by Reverend Father Bienvenido Luke D. Dobles, Parish Priest, St. Agnes Parish, Rosas corner Champaca Streets, Almar Subdivision, Camarin, Caloocan City, were not allowed to be buried on hallowed grounds.  They had different burial grounds or suicide plots.  

Suicide, being a shunned and unforgivable sin, was tackled in Stoker's DRACULA. The Count's wife Elisabeta killed herself, but the priest told the Count that Elisabeta's soul was condemned so she could not have the rites, and she couldn't be buried in Hallowed Ground.  This made the Count very angry, and...well, if you don't know the story of Bram Stoker's version of the Count, then do buy the book or watch the movie.

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Fr. Luke's homily during the mass before his cremation was filled with the Holy Spirit, as one of my cousins(the deceased's youngest immediate aunt from his father's side) described the inspired sermon.

I copy-pasted this portion from one of his sisters' post:

Don't let a death go to waste. Whatever regrets you might have had with the dead, you make up for with the people around you who are living.
If he was meant to be alive, he would still be sitting with us right now. But his mission in this world has completed and he was called home. (An excerpt from Fr. Luke's homily)

I was thinking of paraphrasing it, but what for?  I might even say the wrong words, and the meaning might be taken away from those beautiful snippets.

What Father Luke said was true...is true.  If God wants him to still be alive, He would've revived him.  

I'm ashamed to admit this here, but here goes...

Sometime ago I had several attempts of killing myself, and I bet, if I died, I would've gone straight to hell, indeed, but I'm still alive.  Maybe the reason I have all these ailments is because of those attempts.  Depression is real, and when you are depressed, the first thing to do is to admit that you are, then ask for help.  If you do not ask for help, then...

Don't be afraid of the stigma of depression.  Once in a while people undergo it, but if we keep it bottled inside of us, if we don't ask for help because of our pride(not saying this is the case for everyone), then maybe, just maybe, our despair or depression, would truly lead to our "untimely" demise.

When I learned about his death, even if I never got the chance to be close to him, I talked to him, and asked him why.  Of course I never got any answer, or else I would've shaken or probably got petrified because of extreme shuddering. I told him that he could've had a brighter future because he was really talented, and if there's someone who was supposed to crossover a long time ago, that was supposed to be me, but I am still here, one reason or another, unworthily serving God until my final breath.  He is probably holier than I am, and he is with those faithful who have gone ahead of everyone.  Only God knows what transpired before his soul separated from his body.

I would never forget that he refers to me by my full name, sans honourifics. It makes me smile from time to time. 

I told his wife that the last time I saw their daughter was when she was a certain height, but I think I'm mistaken.  I think she was a little bit taller than the height I described, but it doesn't matter now.

What matters is that even if his life was deliberately cut short because of his "carefully thought of" decision, he had a good one...depression aside, he made a lot of people happy.  His legacy lives on.

...and to you______________, travel well.  You ARE loved, and your would never be forgotten.

May you rest in peace, and if you already are, may we be in peace... at peace with ourselves.

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Thanks for your time dear readers.