Maybe she didn't like me at all and she's glad to get rid of me(useless anxiety)

We can never please everybody and that's a fact. There will be people who love us, but not like us.  There will be people who like us, but not enough to love us.  There will be people who love and like us.  There will be people who cannot stand us at all, not knowing why and those that do.  There will be people who hate us, not knowing why and those that do.  

We can never force people to like and love us.  If we force people, we will never be truly happy.

💚💚💚💚💚

Being ill for almost three weeks(on and off) made me more introspective.  It reminded me of a trip out of town I had with two close friends and an acquaintance whom my mother liked at first instance.  It's hard to please my mom, but she's good with judging people's characters and she reads people like books.  She has some misses, but only a few, but most them are hits.  Yes, bulls' eyes.

I think, if I am not mistaken, it was the second time to travel with that friend of a friend, but the first time to spend more than a couple of days with her.  I was nervous.  Really nervous, but we had fun, except for the fact that when my thrombosis was attacking my left leg and I had a sprain, she was giving me a pep talk to trust her...them...that they would not desert me or anything in the middle of the ocean.  Maybe she thought I was just being maarte and she was really, really disappointed with me.

Months later we went to a concert together.  I did not plan to watch that concert even if I liked the group, but I thought that close friend of mine had no one to go with her.   I could not breathe easily, so I drank medicine, but I think I drank a vitamin or energy drink that didn't go well with it that when the concert was over the incompatibility of the medicine with the energy drink(I actually forgot I drank an energy drink so I just mentioned about the medicine to my close friend), I was saying silly things, some things a church girl would never say...I was trying to show that friend of a friend that I could be worldly too...thus, I wrote about duplicity, but it got deleted along with the blog entries of this so-called "jour"nal.

A couple of days later, I got unfriended along with that close friend(because of another reason).  Among the common friends I was the only one unfriended.  I wrote her because I felt they should fix things, whatever the reason is.  

I remember when that close friend went abroad for a long time I was worried about that friend of a friend because that close friend was the closest to her, but when those unfortunate things happened, it made me realize that maybe just maybe she was just nakikisama because I was a close friend of her closest friend. 

Thankfully after quite sometime, she missed my close friend and they are now good friends, like I wished and prayed fervently for.  I am still not on her friends list and she untagged herself on some of our photographs together.

Sigh.

I will heed St. (Padre) Pio of Pietrelcina's advice,  “Pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.”  We may never be close, but hopefully we...well, at the very least, be more than civil to each other.