Inner ramblings

When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you till it seems as if you couldn’t hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that’s just the place and time that the tide’ll turn.-Harriet Beecher Stowe

My allergies:  Flowers, shrimp, dust, smoke, chicken and cats.  

Of all my allergies, I'm mostly allergic to cats and yet I feed them.  Why?  Because I believe in my heart that they are creatures of God.  Before feeding them, I have to shoo them away because their fur fly like dust and I get to inhale them.  Unfortunately, unlike the older ones, the kitten does not understand that I am allergic to their kind that the little one tries to be cute, does all those acrobatics and when I was off to the wake of the husband of a church mate, the kitten even crossed the street, trying to grab my attention when I was waiting for my ride.

I was off to the wake, so I prepared just enough for me not to sneeze because I know that there were lots of flowers.  I was ill the past few days before the wake, but fortunately I was able to go out to do some business and leisure, so I was able to sing...unfortunately, I had a terrible relapse.  The next time I was able to go out was last Tuesday(October 3), but I wasn't too well. The next days, I couldn't say no to mom.  I had to accompany her to this place and that...it gets so tiring.  My parents are the senior citizens and yet I'm the one with body malaise.  Even if I could type, I couldn't hold my pen well and it aches when I write using a pen or pencil.

I couldn't even walk well, so even if I am out of breath, I still try to move faster than normal so I wouldn't feel the pain of my muscles too much.  Dad noticed/notices that I am in pain, but I couldn't complain to mom because she'll only say she feels achy too because she's old. She would even grumble, making me feel worse.  Last Sunday(October 1) she grumbled because I was too sick to stand up.  They went out without me.  I felt the love from my friends who sent some stuff over, even if I had a hard time standing up, their visits roused the endorphins and adrenaline.  One of them tried when my family was already here, but when mom checked, she couldn't see anyone, so we thought it was a prankster.

Sigh.

Now, I am ill again after being seemingly well for the past 3 1/2 days.

Hopefully, tomorrow, I could sing in the morning.  I think I would have to miss my rehearsals with my two choirs and service with one of them.

I will just sleep now.

I was able to cook yesterday and this morning, but today, dad just thought of buying some Filipino Food at 1898 Heritage Bistro.  They are eating now.  I'm upstairs.  I don't think I could take photographs.  I think I'll just sleep after this. I'm really aching all over and my heart is beating fast.  

The good thing about being ill is being reflective...introspective.

Sometimes I do wonder why God is still keeping me alive.  Maybe I still have purpose.  No.  I believe that I still have purpose.  I thought I was going to die at ten and only God knows why I am still here.

There have been many victories, but in my lifetime I have experience a lot of defeats, rejections, pains and suffering.  I fall then rise up again.  

There are also too many things to be grateful for and I give glory and praise to God.

You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.- Maya Angelou