Hearts Meet Minds (Feature Article for Stepping Stone Leaning Centre)

Hearts Meet Minds

by:

Lara Mia Veronica

My handicapped brother has taught me the most important lesson of all, to accept people for who they are and not for whom I think they should be."  -Special Parent from Dr. Franklin Perkins School Lancaster, Massachusetts          More than three decades ago, my mother and my father became one in holy matrimony.  They planned to have four children.  After three miscarriages, I was born.  I was supposed to be the youngest, but God had a different plan.  A year and a half later, my brother, Karl was born.  A year and a day later, Peegee was born.      He was the cutest creature on earth according to my eyes.  His cheeks were rosy red and his eyes were sparkling like diamonds. Oh how I loved my brother true.      Almost a year and a half later, a chubby child was born.  He had hair like corn husk which darkened through time.  He was bubbly and cute.  His name is R.J.      Both of them were adorable and we were proud of them.  At the age of two PG could speak different languages, then he suddenly stopped due to a terrible incident at our house in Monterey, California. His nanny put him inside a cabinet because she wanted to read pocket books or  watch TV.  He stopped being bubbly and he started banging his head.  He also stopped talking. Gone was the adorable child loved by the neighbors.     At the age of four PG started to attend pre-school at a certain nursery in Cubao, Quezon City (Philippines).  It was the time we noticed he was different and not just lonely.  He had a traumatic experience in the said school. Children ridiculed him and placed him in a trash bin.  He wailed like a baby.  My parents had to extract him from that institution.     A year elapsed and soon R.J. too was found to be different.  My father could not take it and blamed himself for the fact.  My mother could not accept the fact that they were mentally handicapped for in her eyes they were as normal as you and me, but how can we REALLY define normal?      We were four children with different eccentricities.  Two were called normal and the other two mentally handicapped.  At first we thought they were just lazy, for that's what our parents told us.  We always apologized for them and if we did not satisfy the inquiries of the so called "innocent bystanders", we would end in fist fights or have "hair raising experiences", so to speak.  We were then young and immature and we did not know how to handle such matters.       Years later, when we learned to accept the fact, I for one studied the different kinds of mentally handicapped children.  I learned that even if the rh factors are compatible or even if there was no history of mental retardation, down syndrome, autism and the like in our families, special children could be born.  Ergo, it's nobody's fault.       I even watched movies: HOUSE OF CARDS, MY LEFT FOOT,THE KID FROM NOWHERE, THE IDIOT BOY, SPECIAL PEOPLE, TOUCHED BY LOVE{DIANE LANE'S MOVIE ABOUT A CEREBRAL PALSY VICTIM (THE ONE WHO LOVED ELVIS}, AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST, RAIN MAN to name a few.            By watching those movies I have often wondered if people really understood how special these children really are.  It made me realize my mission.  To write stories and articles about them.  I can even see myself writing a tele-novela like "LIFE GOES ON".      I have met several people and they had different reactions.  Some threw their kids away. Others kept them in institutions.  Others simply take their siblings for granted, but others love their siblings with their whole hearts.      Attending a sibling interaction held last September 23 this present year made me realize that I was not alone in the struggle.  Our group for instance had the same goals for our brothers and sisters.  WE WANT TO BREAK THE BARRIERS SOCIETY HAS CREATED and help instill in the hearts and minds of the people that though our siblings are different, they were created for a purpose.  Autistic savants are people who know how to focus on their work. Whether it be motor skills, knowledge in computers, culinary expertise or what have you, whatever the Almighty has given them, even if it's only one, can be honed and they may be called geniuses in their own right.      The people with down syndrome could be good writers, gymnasts, singers, apprentices and yes, even good actors.  I could go on, but I lack time and space.              People in this world may never realize how important these people are, but we, their sisters and brothers, can show them love and support.  For if we ourselves do not understand them, who will?      To conclude I can say that it was a fruitful event.  We may never meet again, but once in our lives we were able to share struggles and dreams.  We also found out that though we come from different walks of life, we are still the same.  I can say that also for our siblings.  They may be called different, but in dignity, they are far more superior than us. They are God's angels on earth.  © Lara Mia Veronica September 1998